Held Hostage By The Chreasters!

Check your manger scene. There seems to be a trend afoot. In Florida, in Texas, and now at my church here in Chicago. Baby Jesus didn’t make it to the manger tonight and no one seemed to mind.

In an effort to put some new life into the Children’s Service – you know, the one at 5:00 with all the noise – we had a presentation using “Shadow Puppets.” It was fairly effective except that Joseph, being held by a tired young puppeteer, kept wandering off towards Buffalo and once or twice Mary turned her back on the entire tableau. All in all it was effective. Sort of “nativity noir.”

Even with the puppets, we lacked the drama of St. Peters. No one jumped the pews to knock over the minister. Pope Benedict had that singular honor it seems. But wait, this was her second appearance attempting the same intervention. What’s with those Swiss guards?

It is a rainy Christmas in Chicago; cold and wet. The freezing temperature will come later in the afternoon and perhaps with it, the white stuff that we believe to be so necessary for the perfect Christmas. There is a very bad group of choristers on the early morning news; all wearing varying shades of red. There is a bass in black. This must be his attempt at “jumping the rail” like the poor soul in Rome.

I am concerned about the missing baby in the manger. This, of course, is an over powering symbol of the age, but I wont go there – just now. The nativity at Epiphany is one of our nicest holdings. It is Italianate in design and quite valuable. But where is the Baby Jesus? And why did no one notice? Or care?

As the case of many congregations across the world, Epiphany is held hostage by the Chreastors. You know, those people you see only on Christmas and Easter. They are the ones who demand that we uphold a tradition that no longer seems to be workable for our congregation: a Christmas eve service that starts at 11:00 p.m. For them it makes the "perfect Christmas." There were so few people present last night that I could not use the foundation stops on the organ lest I “blow them away with sound.”

If church is not important enough to attend regularly, then why would a particular congregation be so important to someone on Christmas or Easter? Perhaps some regional edifice should be designated as the official site for 11:00 worship for those who need it. A type of Christmas Central. The rest of us could be home earlier in the evening giving us time for reflection and a quiet moment with family.

As my mom would say, “Read your Bible and write the missionaries.”

The phone rang at the church last night around 9:30. I answered. The lady on the other end inquired, rather excitedly, “Is there an 11:00 worship service tonight?” I replied in the affirmative. “I just love Epiphany. Is it still located on the corner of Bradley and Damon?”

Another Chreaster!!!

Where, oh where, is the Baby Jesus in this bleak midwinter?