Brothers of Re-Invention

My maternal grandmother, Miss Bessie, had a very inventive memory. She imagined “balls of tornadic fire” approaching her home during a violent storm. (She was a “weather worrier” – always watching cloud formations during summer storms and phoning to tell us to take cover. She seemed about as accurate as the TV guy on Channel 6, maybe a little more so.)

In her later years, she invented a “boyfriend” from California. He was dashing and was totally smitten with her. He had wealth, great charm, and drove a Cadillac. She was resolute in the fact that he was going to whisk her away in his convertible and drive into the sunset toward a better life.

She would often remark that “Harold” had phoned and they talked for hours. He was arriving any day now and she just wasn’t prepared.

Of course, Harold was “made up.” It probably happened to impress the ladies in her Sunday School Class at the Methodist Church. Maybe Mabel Calloway had “one-upped her” with a cake recipe and she had to get things evened out. However, it was of no consequence. Harold never appeared and eventually dropped from conversation.

Upon her death, she had arranged for Lucille Brown, the leader of her Bible study group, to deliver what was a very eloquent and glowing eulogy. At the graveside services as we made our way to greet those who had come to pay their respects, I happened to pass my mother. “I hardly recognized the woman described in Lucille’s remarks,” she whispered.

Miss Bessie had “one-upped” Mabel yet again.

This years political stumping has lots of inventive and often imaginary information being proffered as “why you should vote for me.”

There are two interesting examples by men seeking Senate seats. I think of them as “Brothers of Re-invention.”

One is patrician.

Something I have always wanted to be. I don’t know why, maybe for the same reason that I like the title “Metropolitan” (as in the Greek Orthodox way). But, I am neither tall enough, thin enough, nor wealthy enough to be “patrician.” I don’t think the “patrician types” perspire.

The other is baby-faced and Republican. He has a look of innocence.

Neither of which I could ever be. Despite the fact that I always say that my eyes are not just blue, “they are virgin blue,” I could never convince anyone of such innocence, most especially my purple-haired mother. Her response was, “for that to be the true, you must have kept a sack over your head most of your life.”

The reason I could never be a Republican is an issue of morality.

The Patrician is Blumenthal of Connecticut who has admitted to some “misplaced words” in his re-invented resume; all in an attempt to convince the veterans of war that he was one of them.

The other is Mark Kirk of Illinois. Same reason.

It seems you cannot be a serious candidate for a spot in Washington without having been shot at. Remember Hillary’s famous tarmac incident?

So this has got me to thinking about my own resume.

It could do with some serious updating. No, I am not going to run for political office, but I will croak one day and I want the eulogy to be as eloquent as that of Miss Bessie and I do want my children to think their father has accomplished something.

So we add the following:

“Consultant in Cardiology, St. Francis Hospital.” When I go to rehab, they ask me about my heart, my pacemaker, and my general sense of well-being. I respond in kind. We consult. And in the UK, a consultant in healthcare is considered the same as a physician in the US.

“Internationally read author.” Hey, this blog is followed by a guy in Abu Dhabi.

“Family Therapist.” I spend a lot of time on the phone with my kids, and my grandchildren.

“Advisor in Economics.” I caution my sister on how much she is spending at fast food restaurants and how much less it would be to cook at home.

"Media Consultant." I tell everyone about the great Farsi flick I just discovered.

“World traveler.” I landed once in Dubuque, Iowa.

And not to forget:

“Spiritual Advisor to Oprah.” I pray daily that she will discover the joys of anonymous altruism.

You know, I sound pretty good. If I had 70-million, I could probably convince some group somewhere to elect me to high office. And, oh yes, I was required to take two years of ROTC as a college student, so hey, I guess I am a veteran. Andy Culberson shot me with a BB-gun.

I'm on a roll to a political career. Is this not a great country we live in?

With proper "parsing" anything goes. Even Blago is innocent. It is just missplaced words.

Quality Leadership

Each one of us occupies a “sphere of leadership.” It may be only one person outside ourself. It may be as vast as a nation or even worldwide. We all influence someone with our decisions, our attitudes, and our actions.

So what guidelines undergird our role as leader? What dictates our conscience?

There is a very sad, but telling, article in today’s New York Times about the Attorney General of Connecticut running for the Senate seat occupied by Christopher Dodd, who has chosen to retire. It seems Mr. Blumenthal has repeatedly voiced an enhanced military record, which includes active duty in Vietnam. It is something he states when addressing veteran’s groups around the state or gatherings with a patriotic theme. Yet the evidence points at such assertions as blatantly false.

This is not an individual with a dubious resume. So why did Mr. Blumenthal reinvent his past? (He says he is guilty of “misplaced words.”) Why does anyone choose to do so?

There was a very seedy lawyer in a small town in Alabama. (Yes, I realize there are many seedy lawyers in many small towns, and also large towns, in Alabama and elsewhere.) We will call him Charlie. His principal source of wealth came from marriage into a prosperous family. His work as a lawyer merely got him out of the house and from underfoot. He was a laughably ordinary attorney. However, he did utter one profound thing once, when the heavens opened and a glimmer of respectability pierced his thoughts: “If you think you can please everybody, you might as well resign from the human race.” It was probably not even original, but it was for him, profound. Contradictory (you had to know his “modus operandi”), but profound.

The “need to please” dominates our actions, our words. However, our decision concerning the “whom we wish to please and why” becomes the trap. A child’s first manipulations of the truth surround the need to please a parent. This need to please merely escalates with time. And with this passage of time the results of this need impacts a greater sphere.

Mr. Blumenthal wanted to please his audience in Norwalk in 2008, so he “served time in Vietnam.”

The most damning “need to please” of course surrounds ourself. Our jails are overrun with those who failed at curbing their personal appetites for some form of gratification. They are the ones whose need became so egregious as to force an arrest and trial.

But consider the area between the innocence of childhood and the gallows.

It has many names depending upon the path we choose. For the purpose of discussion, let’s call this area teaching, career politics, public service, ministry, or some other noble calling. Any one of which impacts the lives of countless others.

And while we are setting the stage, let’s populate the sidelines with lobbyists, populous groups with an agenda, soul-mates, finances, low self-esteem, news polls, the NRA, comfort zones, and with Charlie’s “modus operandi” – which translates “the way I like to handle things.”

Now, throw into the mix a gross abuse of Joseph Fletcher’s “situation ethics” and we have a mess called Working for the Good 2010.

To begin with, I believe most people enter public service or ministry or some noble calling with the highest of intentions. With Sarah Palin I think it has more to do with the need to be adored. Seriously!

Back to Joseph Fletcher.

Fletcher, an Episcopal theologian, gave us the term, “situation ethics” in his book of the same name back in the mid-sixties. It sought to explain decisions made based upon a given situation rather than a moral absolute. Paul Tillich codified the concept as “love is the absolute law.” But you knew that.

Enter a bright young soul who discovers an avenue to serve others in local government. The path of service was rough, but with determination and a real desire to make a difference, our candidate made progress toward their goal. As they increased their sphere of influence, campaigns became more and more dependent upon media coverage – that proved expensive. Donations also proved to be a challenge. Along comes a “special interest group.” You know the scenario, it has been played out in dozens of books and movies.

Situational compromise becomes more tolerable because the dream still has some validity. Eventually, however, even the dream becomes clouded and it is now a matter of sustaining a public lifestyle that an oversized ego demands.

One day our bright young soul, now older but far less wiser, finds they are without any ideals proposing a law that allows people to carry firearms into the airport. And to think I once admired Charlton Heston. They even got to Moses.

Think of the number of fallen leaders - parents, priests, teachers, ministers, elected officials, and yes, members of our Congress. Think of the lurking conflicts on the sidelines of their intended goals that proved to be too great to resist. For some, even the prayer meetings on C-Street were not enough to thwart their personal needs. More importantly, think of the number of people who were in their “sphere of influence.” This is the greater tragedy.

I propose each leader, no matter their sphere, resolve:

“I promise to keep a clean heart and a right spirit and to constantly question the reasons behind each decision I make. I promise that my work will always be about the people I serve and never about me and my needs.”